I just hate losing
I am a bad loser and that makes me ultra-competitive and I absolutely despise losing. At anything. It doesn't mind whether I'm working on my class strategies or playing a game of Scrabble. I always play to win. And that's a good thing. I'm not a bad loser ha ha... in that I'll throw my tantrum and be a complete twat (tears of anger and frustration, at my worst) when I lose; in fact, I can be (somewhat) graceful in defeat and I can (eventually) accept it. But that doesn't mean I have to actually like losing.
So I worked hard. I invested in myself and I tried to learn as much as possible. I took a chance on myself. and sometimes I was obviously taking a big risk.
I just hate losing.